Set Your Feelings Aside

Earlier this week, I was working my weekly clinical shift in the nursing home, as I do every Tuesday.  The older gentleman I was caring for this week, was a particularly challenging individual.  As I began my morning care with this man, I began to realize just how long my day was going to seem.  You see, this man was extremely anxious.  He was could hardly do anything on his own, could barely move, was scared and not very cooperative.  Myself and 2 others were assisting him out of bed, getting him cleaned up and dressed for the day.  What should have been a fairly easy task, maybe half hour at most by myself, turned out to be 3 people spending over an hour with this Gentleman.  Why, you ask? Well, everytime I tried using water and soap to clean him up, tried to move his legs, help him stand up, etc., He would become very agitated, confused and extremely anxous, yelling things as loud as he could: “HELP, HELP!,” “STOP TORTURING ME!” or ”WHY ARE YOU HURTING ME?”  It wasn’t time for his meds yet, so all we could do was rub his back, and reassure him that although it may feel like we’re torturing him, we’re only trying to help and take good care of him.

To often, we’re just like this when it comes to God.  All we can focus on is how uncomfortable WE are, how hurt WE are, how much help WE need.  It’s an easy way out, to blame and question God for everything.  I realized just how God might feel looking down on us, in the midst of our ignorant grumbling.  He must feel something like I felt as I tried to comfort this older man.  I wished more than anything I could relieve his anxiety, and letting him know that we were there to help him, comfort him, and care for him.  Although it seemed like we were only harming him, He couldn’t see the truth throuh his clouded mind.   We must seem so childish, so naive, and so ignorant when we complain to God.  Too often we focus on only our hurt.  We can’t see through our pain, and discomfort, and confusion…our minds are too clouded to see the hand of God upon our lives.  Even though it may seem like it’s nothing but torture, and feels like it may never end, ultimately we can have peace in knowing that God truly is a loving, caring God, and ultimately is here to love on us, take care of us, and prepare us for what is to come.  So when it doesn’t feel like God is by your side, when it doesn’t feel like this torture should be happening to you (maybe someone else, anyone else, but not you!), and when your not sure what to feel  at all anymore…set your “feelings and emotions” aside, and rest in KNOWING that we serve a God of Love, and a God that cares.